The BoneBlog

Six years ago, I was an out-of-shape loser who smoked.  I was hanging on the edge of hopelessness, trying to raise a child myself while working at a dead-end job and struggling under student loan debt that would’ve made Hercules stagger.  In a last act of desperation, I uprooted myself, and took Laurel to St. Louis where we lived in a four-family south city flat and I worked another slightly better paying but even more depressing dead-end job.   

Today I’m in the best, most athletic shape of my life.  I quit smoking.  I have two awesome kids, a job I love, and I’m back in school without the use of loans.  I’m completely debt-free (well, except for the mortgage you know), and I’m the quintessential suburbanite, even though I do still love the city.  In short, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

Much of that happiness I owe to you.

You encouraged me to quit that dead-end job and find something that I wouldn’t dread doing every day, and you didn’t bat an eye when I told you I needed to take time off from working for others and just substitute teach for a year.  You were behind me when I decided to quit smoking but you knew not to nag at me to do it.

You support my whims until they become a reality (quitting smoking, getting in shape, working Old Newsboys Day, going back to school).  You allay my fears, allowing me to stop freaking out over the minutiae of day-to-day life.  You laugh when I laugh and you comfort me when I cry.  You don’t get mad when I spend too much money at the grocery store or when I stuff the freezer with so many on-sale items that it has trouble working to keep them frozen.

But even more than all of these things, what has most impressed me about you is the way you have embraced being a father.  You took Laurel in as though she were your own, and now that you have officially adopted her, she is.  You didn’t have to do that, but you’re the only father she has ever known, and it always made me smile to hear her call you Daddy.  Even now, she tries so hard to be in your good favor because she loves you so much.  She actively seeks your approval and I can hear her love for you in her voice every time she talks about you.

You’ve been everything to Ethan from the day he was born.  Even before that, really.  Every time he sees you his face lights up and he goes running to have you pick him up.  You do all the things I won’t or can’t do with such a rough little guy, like trotting him around on your shoulders and wrestling with him in the floor.  You also let him get by with oh-so-much more than I do, and he knows it – and casts smug glances in my direction when it happens.

There is little doubt in my mind that the kids favor you in many ways, but that’s okay.  I know it’s because you do so much fun stuff with them and you try so hard to be a good and caring father.  Whether trying to teach Laurel the ins and outs of chemistry or just trying to bribe Ethan into saying, ‘toes,’ you are the very best.  I’m content to sit back and watch as they grow ever more attached.

I love you, Greg.  Thank you so much for being there for me.  Even more, thank you for being there for our kids.  Someday they will know how fortunate they are for having your influence in their lives.  It’s the most important role you have, and I’m proud of the way you’ve embraced it. 

Happy Fathers Day, baby.