If Laurel were President.
When I went to school for Laurel's Valentine party, I noticed the kids had been brainstorming on what they would do if they were President of the United States. Most of their stories were posted in the hallway, and I chuckled as I saw that some of the kids would jail litterbugs. "What little fascists," I thought. I asked Laurel's teacher where her essay was, and she pointed out that Laurel's was still at her desk.
Hoo-boy. My amusement at the other students' ideas of jailing polluters was short-lived. Here are the highlights of Laurel's essay (she hasn't brought home the essay itself in its finished form, so here is her draft):
"If I were President of the United States, I would make many important decisions. I would keep the air clean and get rid of cars and only allow bicycles. I would do this so our nation would be stronger. People that polluted would be executed. I would make sure people conserve by making sure humans took only what they need. I would get rid of nuclear weapons. I would have them recycled."
So, to recap: Laurel is a litterbug-exterminating pinko commie who recycles plutonium. That's my girl.
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