More Weekend Lessons Learned; or, How to Annoy the Gas Company in One Easy Step.
At approximately 7:15 a.m. on Saturday morning, our neighbor, the road association president, began digging up the road in front of our house with his Bobcat in order to try to patch some ruts. This was discussed at the road meeting (the one in which David Cassidy did not play a part). Greg thought this would be a great opportunity for Ethan to see not-so-heavy equipment in action, so he took him outside to watch the festivities. Shortly, he opened the front door and told me they hit a gas line.
And oh yes, they did. I could hear it even sitting here in front of this machine.
So I said I'd call the gas company's emergency number and report the leak.
I have never encountered an entity engaged in providing emergency services which is so difficult to contact as the gas company. The first emergency number I called rang and rang. The next number I found actually answered, but when the automated attendant told me to press 1, I got cut off. Twice. Finally, I called a THIRD number and let the phone ring 8 or 9 times until someone finally answered -- good thing, because I was on the verge of calling 911 and letting them deal with it. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Yes, I need to report a gas leak - our neighbor was using a Bobcat to dig out a spot in our road and hit a gas line."
Operator: "What is your address?"
Me: "[Address]"
Operator: "Who was digging?"
Me: "Our neighbor. We live on a private road, it needed repair, so he was digging it out to repair it."
Operator: "Who was digging?"
Me: (exasperated) "Our neiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighbor. What, do you want his name? What are you looking for?"
Operator: (disbelieving) "Your neighbor was digging?"
Me: "YES. Again, we live on a private road, we have to maintain it OURSELVES, so he was DIGGING."
Operator: "Well, is it blowing gas?"
Me: "It was, but now they have it crimped off as best they can."
Operator: (bored sigh) "I'll send the first available vehicle."
As it turns out, the gas line was maybe 6 inches below the surface of the road -- way too shallow. And the neighbor had called DIG-RITE, and they came out and marked the road, so this clearly should not have happened.
But seriously, gas company? Yeah. Howzabout answering your emergency lines? And who CARES who was doing the digging? Let someone else figure that out - just GET SOMEONE OUT THERE.
I know now how Mark Twain felt when he wrote the following letter - not much has changed in 115 years:
Hartford, February 12, 1891.
Dear Sirs:
Some day you will move me almost to the verge of irritation by your chuckle-headed Goddamned fashion of shutting your Goddamned gas off without giving any notice to your Goddamned parishioners. Several times you have come within an ace of smothering half of this household in their beds and blowing up the other half by this idiotic, not to say criminal, custom of yours. And it has happened again today. Haven’t you a telephone?
Ys
S L Clemens (Mark Twain)
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