The BoneBlog

Saturday evening, we took Laurel (the aspiring gambler from this post) to Jackson, Missouri, for a murder mystery train ride with her gifted class.

Here's Laurel in her usual bookworm mode on the way:   

Here she is singing "Jackson," by Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash: 

Proof we drove all that way for a train ride: 

The gifted teachers asked us to be there between 4:30 and 4:45.  As usual, we were early (even after realizing we forgot the camera and going back to get it).  But lo, there were no teachers there.  So we waited.

And waited.

Eventually someone called the teacher who was supposed to be there and found that she wouldn't be there until nearly 5.  But, uh, the train BOARDS at 5, and she had all our payments.  The railroad let us board anyway while we waited for the teacher to get there.  Lovely organization, it was.  By the time she got there, we were ready to chase her 'round town like a scalded hound with her tail tucked between her legs.'  But off we went, bound for nowhere, just like Kenny Rogers' gambler. 

Everything was fine for awhile, until the trainsfolk started serving food.  They served the adults first.  Anyone with kids knows why that is a plumb rotten idea.  Even worse, the food was cold.  Seriously, my mashed potatoes and green beans were COLD.  In fairness, the stuffing they served was warm, but that, I believe, may be chalked up to the density of stuffing and its inherent ability to hold heat -- it certainly wasn't due to any sort of staff competency.

Then -- and here's the REALLY awesome part -- the lights went out!  Yes!  Great!  The lights went out on the train when we were on our way back to the station, in the middle of one of the acts of the show.  And it was cold, in part because this train was so old it's a wonder it made it out of the station in one piece to begin with.  We stopped on the track because they claimed they just needed to swap out a generator.  The lights came on!  Wonderful!

Alas, our jubilance was short-lived.  The train went dark again.  We stopped.  AGAIN.  Most of the trip back to the station was spent in intermittent light and dark (but mostly dark), and once we got to the station and were with lights again, the show finished the last act.  We really were tempted to just get up and walk out, but we obviously don't 'know when to fold 'em.' We finally disembarked at 8:40, a full 40 minutes after our scheduled finish time.  By the time we returned to Jackson, Greg and I were 'both too tired to sleep' even though I tried on the way home.  I was thankful to see Laurel suffered from no such affliction.

The best part of all of this?  We could have, for the same price, stayed in St. Louis and gone to the Lemp Mansion, had a full, high-quality, multi-course dinner in a warm atmosphere with LIGHTS.  Had I been planning this outing, this is what we would have done, instead of trekking 1.5 hours to Jackson, Missouri, to sit on a cold, dark train and eat frigid food.

But then in authoring this post I wouldn't have been able to show my admiration for two of music's greatest artists:  Johnny Cash and Kenny Rogers.

As a postscript, here is gambler Laurel, 'staring out the window at the darkness.'   She did this 'til boredom overtook her,' and then she began to act out:

 You'll note this was taken while we still had lights.  Sigh.

Are you sure it wasn't a HAUNTED train ride??