The BoneBlog

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JEFFERSON COUNTY, MO --  Michelle, 31,  discovered a broken desk while vacuuming at her home this morning in unincorporated Jefferson County. 

Though she has no firm evidence, having failed to catch the perpetrator in the act, she suspects the Two-Foot Terrorist, pictured below:

When pressed for her reasons to suspect the Two-Foot Terrorist despite the lack of evidence, Michelle insisted, "He's the only person possessing both the will and the weight to commit such an act.  His sister, while having the weight, doesn't have the will or motive to climb onto and break the desk." 

Michelle and her desk are not the first victims of the suspected Two-Foot Terrorist.  Laurel and Greg have also fallen prey to his tactics, as have inanimate objects such as pop-up books and glasses in the dishwasher.  Vinnie has been especially vexed by the Terrorist's rapid-fire advances.

Asked where she would turn in the aftermath of this heinous act, Michelle remains unflappable.  "I guess Greg is going to have to fix this when he gets home.  What a way to spend a Friday evening."

have you ever considered PR?

haha!  Nope.  I would never feel as though my writing was up to par.